Hugging Just a Little Tighter... Once again

A friend of a friend lost her baby girl. 

I didn't know her. I'd never met her.

Eva Mae was just 14 months old.

I realize that people, even children, die each day. But for some reason the loss of a child seems... unfathomable. That it could happen to someone I know... unthinkable. It forces me to confront the reality of my own mortality - and that of my husband and daughter. I say I have FAITH, but things like this shake me. Clearly, I am not ready and have work to do.

But tonight, I hugged my daughter a little tighter, sang to her a little longer, kissed her a few extra times. I said a prayer thanking GOD for the gift I've been given and vowing to cherish every moment. I said a prayer for Eva. And once again I prayed for Mia (born just the day after Eva) and her family, as I have daily for nearly a year now. My heart has been deeply touched by these losses.

If you pray, spend a moment in prayer today for the families of all children who have gone home too soon. Those mothers whose hearts will never be whole. Thank GOD for your gifts. If you're a wife, thank Him for your husband. If you're a mother, thank Him for your children. If you're a child, thank Him for your parents. But THANK HIM.

Prayer of Mothers

Father in heaven,
grant me the grace to appreciate the dignity
which You have conferred on me.
Let me realize that not even the Angels
have been blessed with such a privilege—
to share in Your creative miracle
and bring new Saints to heaven.
Make me a good mother to all my children
after the example of Mary,
the Mother of Your Son.
Through the intercession of Jesus and Mary
I ask your continued blessings on my family.
Let us all be dedicated to Your service on earth
and attain the eternal happiness of Your Kingdom in heaven.

Weddings, Weddings

My dear friends Betsy and Andy were engaged on St. Patrick's Day, and the date is set for November. *Hooray!* I can't begin to explain how excited I am about this. These are just two wonderful people who deserve the best. Congratulations, you two. Randy and I are so very lucky to have you both as friends, and we love you so much!

Today, I took an afternoon off of work to go try on some bridesmaids dresses. Lisa and Betsy have both chosen the same designer, Alfred Angelo, so I'm headed down to a little bridal store south of town to go check them out.

Betsy has asked us to each pick a dress from a particular collection. I'm sure I'll find something flattering, they're all lovely. Shall I remind her that she could wear whatever she wanted to march up the aisle at my wedding?? LOL, nah. (j/k Bets) The cardinal rule of bridesmaiding is "Shut up and do what the Bride tells you!" And that is just what I intend to do. I'm very lucky to have friends with quite a bit of both style and sense - the dresses are beautiful and reasonable. That being said, I love both these ladies so much... I would wear a paper sack if they asked me to. Maybe even the dreaded butt bow!! :)

First Comes Love, Then Comes Marriage

Lisa's getting married!!!!! Congratulations to my roomie Lisa and her *fiance* Joe who were engaged on New Years Eve in Texas. Lisa has always has a fondness for military men, and while I never thought it would be an ARMY uniform I'd see on the other side of that wedding picture, once I met Joe I quickly changed my tune. (teehee)

Lisa, Congratulations. I love you so much and couldn't be happier for you!!

Joe, Welcome to the family. You can now be an official resident of The Rainforest!

New Years

We have the awesomest friends ever. They let us bring a 10 month old to a New Years Eve party. The hosts (the ever-hospitable Williams') even let us set up a crib in their bedroom.
Our friends rock.
I'm just sayin.

Baby's First Christmas

Baby's first Christmas... wow. I'm still in awe of the reality our little family. We are so blessed.

I must first say that I am so thankful for some much needed time off, beginning on 12/23. I've worked for the same company for 8 years now and this is the first time I've taken a Christmas Eve off... I figured it was time for me to be a bit selfish. My staff was great. And it was worth it.

We began Christmas Eve with some donuts. Randy ran over to Martins to pick me up a Tiger Tail and him creme-filled chocolate-thingy. Mmm. MK had yogurt. Poor baby. Someday, she can have a donut too.  :)

Great-Grandma (Gigi) and Grandpa Hanson's was up next. We saw everyone - all at once - which was a welcome change from the transient holiday that we are used to at the Hansons. Santa came, we opened gifts, we ate. It was perfect. I remind myself how lucky I am to have grandparents in my life at age 30... and that my daughter has great-grandparents!

After a small mishap with the minivan (Yes, it involved a tow truck... *sigh*) we arrived at Randy's parents to mingle with the Perry/Styles families. Food, family, more gifts... Mary Kate was such a trooper.

We've decided that we are going to spend Christmas morning at our own home. Not only is it easier, but I think it's the beginning of a wonderful tradition of our own. Mary Kate got up around 10am (I LOVE having a kiddo that sleeps in!!) we opened our modest gifts and had some breakfast. It was relaxing and so special.

We then headed to my parents to enjoy the Bauers. 40 people, 5 gallons of bourbon punch, and countless cookies later... we got home around 1am, exhausted and happy. Once again, MK was amazing. How did we get so lucky to have a munchkin who is so flexible with us?! We were able to spend some time with my immediate family in a much quieter environment the day after Christmas, which was so enjoyable.

I'm still working on the thank-you notes... but we are... so very thankful. How can we not be?

Time Marches On

It's amazing how quickly time passes...
Somehow months turn into years, and it seems like the blink of an eye.

Mary Kate is 9 months old.
I am a mommy.
Randy is a daddy.
We are a family.

I love it.

Mary Kate is a joy and a blessing each and every day. I thank GOD for her each night, marking a cross on her forehead to bless her before I turn in for the night. She gives me butterflies in my stomach just thinking about her. I am so in love with my little girl...

Tonight, I set up her brand new carseat. She's growing and growing, so it was finally time to move into a "permanent" seat. No more pulling her in and out of the car while still buckled safely in her carrier. *sigh*

While I messed with the straps and buckles, she rolled herself across the floor to check it all out. My goofy little 9 month old would still rather roll than crawl. Everyone keeps telling me to enjoy this time before she's fully "mobile". I guess I'll find out what they're talking about soon enough. She's so content to just sit, play with toys, her feet, make noises, whatever strikes her fancy. Silly little girl. :)

I bought her some little shoes for Christmas called "Skidders" - wishful thinking, perhaps, that she would be standing or walking by then... They are interesting little things that our little buddy Jayce wears - they are like socks with soft rubber shoe soles. They remind me of sea slippers, or even those dipped garden gloves - the ones that they've dipped in rubber so your hands don't get wet? We'll see if she's even willing to wear them. Lately, she's been taking off her socks within minutes of us putting them on!

We're looking for other options for Christmas. She doesn't really get it, of course, so I'm hesitant to make a big deal out of it... but of course, we have to get her SOMETHING. I'm sure the grandma's will probably ensure that there are plenty of goodies... but Mama has got to come through. I'll let you know what I come up with.

Next time, I'll try not to let 19 months go by...

Ready to Talk

So I've disappeared from the blogosphere for oh, about 2 months. Its been a rough 2 months. Right about the time I started this blog, my husband and I found out that we were expecting. So I gotta admit that I had other motives than just recipes... I thought it would be fun to talk about the experience of becoming a mommy. Then I got sick and could eat nothing but strawberry yogurt and crackers. New recipes?? I think not.

Then in March, I had a miscarriage at 12 weeks. And I think I'm ok and ready to talk about it now.

I had no idea how common miscarriage is. The more I talk about it, the more women I meet who have suffered through one, or know someone very close to them who has. As I read, experts estimate that anywhere between 30 and 50 percent of pregnancies end in miscarriage, most before 8 weeks. What was most amazing to me about this was... how shocked I was. And how shocked many of my friends were shocked. How did a bunch of young women (who are getting very close to not being so young anymore!) get this far into life without realizing this?! I met with my doctor when Randy and I decided we were going to "try". I learned about diet, exercise, prenatal vitamins and ovulation. But never was the risk of miscarriage discussed. I'm not the activist type, but I just really think it's interesting that it's not talked about.

On a personal note, it's been a really hard month or so. I really got my head wrapped around the idea of becoming a mommy, so it's been really hard to let go. I feel like this pregnancy was the background music to my day. So now that it's gone, it feels so... quiet. Like when you can't sleep without a little white noise... the silence is deafening. I'm better now, SO thankful for the loving support of my family and friends, and the Divine Mercy prayer. My aunt put it best when she said, "Sometimes, Christ carries you."

So this week, I've got 2 new dinner recipes on the menu. (I'll post one or both if they're good.) I made an apple pie with lavender vanilla sugar, and I'm planning on making homemade granola. So... I guess I'm back!! Thanks for hanging in there with me. God bless!!